so i've been interning at national geographic for about five months-ish. its for college credit and it has been a good time but this friday it all must come to an end. i'm not sure if i'm relieved or not. it'll be nice to get some sleep and have time to do school work again and not feel so pressured and bogged down. but at the same time it's nice not having to be home alllll of the time. i still live in a very strict household, sad to say, but having somewhere to be instead of being there is just really nice. it'll look good on my resume i know that but as long as people are interested in seeing my resume i won't have a problem. i've got to find a job though. i graduate in january and this is becoming such a pain in the ass. i'm just trying to get through school, pass my classes (for once) and i don't know. have a life of my own. i would love so much to work for fbr or something up in new york but i only know of the option to possibly intern for them and to be honest i can't live off of nothing in ny while doing an unpaid internship that might possibly go no where. so i have to really figure shit out. i don't know what the fuck i'm doing with my life anymore and it's stressing me out. i know there are people out there who eventually figure out what they want for themselves and they do everything they can to achieve it. i just don't feel like i'm one of those people. i think i'm the type that's never going to be happy because i don't know what i want in life because i was never really given the chance to experience it from the beginning. i'm in limbo.